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Santa Banta Jokes
ikk var di gal hai santa singh school teacher
di job pakad lendaa hai " english subject"
oh bohat hi mash-hoor jo jaanda hai
us de school vich ik navan principal aaunda hai
us nu bhnanak pendi hai ki santaa singh bohat hi vadhiyaa angreji teach da hai
oda dil kardaa hai ki dekhe santa singh da way of teaching kis tara da hai oh
enna mashhoor kyon hai
class de bahar jaa ke khidki kol chori chori dekhan lag penda hai
scene kuch is tara hai
santa singh: bolo bachcho" GADHA "
bachche: " GADHA"
SANTA: BOLO BACHO "GADHA, GADHE DE PICHE GADHA"
bache: "GADHA, GADHE DE PICHE GADHA"
santa : BOLO BACHO " GADHA ,GADHE DE PICHE GADHA, US DE PICHE (BEHIND)
MAIN"
bache: " GADHA ,GADHE DE PICHE GADHAA, US DE PICHE MAIN"
princpal no bohat gussa aaundaa ki salaa santa ki padha reha hai
santa: bolo bachO " GADHA,GADHE DE PICHE GADHA ,GADHE DE PICHE MAIN,US DE
PICHE SARAA DESH"
Principal ton reha nahi jaanda oh santaa no kehandaa hai aa ke mere room vich
milo
santa singh room vich jandaa hai taan princi b gussa hon lagg pendaa hai ki tu
ki padha reha hai
santa singh kehanda hai " sir main taa sirf spelling sikh rehaa si"
princi kehandaa hai kis de
santa kehanda hai
"ASSASSINATION " de
ikk var
di gall hai
banta singh school vich padhdaa hundaa hai te ik teacher aa ke lecture de jaandi
hai " har aadmi da koi naa koi razz hundaa hai jis no oh chupan di koshish
kardaa hai"
eh sun ke bante de dimag vich idea aandaa hai
oh ghar jaa ke aapni bebe nu kehndaa hai "mainu sab kuch pataa hai"
bebe ghabraa (panic) jandi hai te bantaa nu 100 Rs de dindi hai
raat nu bapu aandaa hai bantaa bapu naa jaa ke kehanda hai mainu sab pataa hai
" babu chup chap 500 Rs de dinda hai,bantaa nu eh scheme badi changi lagdi
hai
saner nu doji (milkman ) aaundaa hai te bantaa no lalach aa jandaa hai banta
doji nu kehanda hai mainu sab pataa lag gayaa hai mainu sab raz pataa lag gaye
ne
doji de haththon doodh di drumi chott jandi hai te doji achanak ghabraa jaandaa
hai
fer bade pyaar nal bantaa nu kehandaa hai
aajaaa putt bapu de gal naal lagg jaa
ikk vari
ki hundaa hai ki santa singh de pind kol macdonalds vaale apni dookaan kholde ne
te bohat saaari advertisment karde ne apne pizza di
ad dekh ke santa singh da dil pizza khan non kardaa hai jaa ikk pizza order
karda hai
pizzaa aa jaanda hai te serve karan vaala puchdaa hai
sir kinne piece kar davaa pizza de 6 or 12
santaa singh sochan lagg pendaa hai
2 mint sochan da kenhdaa hai
oye sirf 6 piece hi kari mere ton 12 piece khaa nahi hone
A
Man eater Tiger is rampant in a region of Garwal. Two famous hunter- Santa and
Banta are called to hunt the beast down. 10 days go by with no luck. This is
when Banta decides to change his hunting plan. Says Banta "main gaa de khal
pa ke jaana hoon sher menu khaan aaveha, te main us nu maar davan ga" (I'll
hide inside a cow hide, and shoot the Tiger thru it's mouth when it comes to eat
me) So Banta leaves for the Jungle hiding inside the cow hide, with his rifle
sticking out of the cows mouth. A day goes by, no sigh of Banta, a week later
Santa gets worried, and a search party is sent to find him. They do find him
...stripped off his camouflage ... lying face first on the ground. The rifle is
lying a few feet away. Santa is worried, he runs up to Banta ... gives him a
shake and asks "kee hoya Banteya ... Sher aaya se"? Banta's feeble
response is " Sher taan nahin aaya ... par eh das ... Saand kene khulla
chadya si" (Tiger didn't show up, but tell me ... who let the Bull loose)
Santa was travelling in a
crowded bus. He was carrying the Passport size photograph of his son (for
college admission). Accidently,the photograph fell down from his pocket. He
started searching for it frantically & found the same on the floor of the
bus. Politely, he asked the saree clad female,standing in front of him,
"Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph" The rest is
history. He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted in a hospital. He was
surprised to see Banta on the bed next to him, in a still worse condition. Banta
started to explain his "Adventure". He had gone to a remote village on
some work & due to his high level of intelligence, couldn't finish the work
on time. He had missed the last bus from that place. He couldn't find any Hotel.
So he approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether he can stay there
for the night. The Owner replied" I have 2 grown up daughters. Sorry, I can
t allow you to stay". He approached the next house and asked whether he can
stay there for the night. The Owner replied," I have 3 grown up daughters.
Sorry, I can t allow you to stay". He went towards the next house and
without taking any risks, asked, " Do you have "grown up"
daughters?". The Owner asked," WHY ?" Banta replied, " I
wanted to stay here for a night
US
Assignment!!
Santa Singh and Banta Singh got a US software assignment. After reaching US both
were staying in the same building. Santa on the first floor and Banta on the
thirty fifth floor. One day the elevators were not working. Banta decided to
tease Santa and he invited Santa on the phone for Sarson da Saag and Makke di
Roti. When Santa reached the 35th floor using the stairs he was cheesed off to
see a note on the door saying "How was the journey !!" Seeing this
Santa got extremely annoyed and decided to take revenge. He put another note
saying " Boss i cannot make it today!!!"
Mrs.
Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone,
sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes."What
is the matter today? asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an
hour conversation on the phone."
"I got a wrong number," replied Mrs. Banta Singh.
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